There is no expected amount. Some clients talk from the first minute to the last. Others say hello, name the format and go quiet for an hour. Talking during an outcall massage is entirely your choice, and the therapist follows your lead rather than setting the tone herself.
What does exist is a short list of things worth saying, a short list of things better left alone, and a few practical notes about phones, music and language.
The two minutes that need words
The opening minutes at the door are the one part of the booking where silence does not work. Payment is settled, and a handful of details get agreed. Covering them now means nothing needs to be raised later.
- The format. Confirm what was booked. If you have changed your mind since the message, now is the moment.
- Anywhere to avoid. A sore shoulder, a ticklish spot, an area you would rather leave alone. One sentence covers it.
- The bathroom. Where it is, and whether the light switch is outside the door, as it often is in Dutch flats.
- The ending. Whether you want a warning before the time is up, or to be woken if you doze.
- Anyone else in the flat. If a housemate might come home, say so.
After that, the logistics are done. Everything that follows is optional.
Talking during an outcall massage, once it has started
Both directions are normal.
Some people are more relaxed talking. Travelling clients especially: they have spent the day in meetings or on trains, and a conversation in their own language with someone unconnected to their work is part of what they booked. Others want the opposite, an hour in which nobody asks them anything.
You do not need to announce which you are. Answers in single words are understood. A long question about the city is understood too. The therapists on this roster work across a wide range of clients every week, and reading which kind of evening this is forms part of the job.
If you want quiet and the conversation keeps going, say so plainly. "I think I will just close my eyes now" is a complete and perfectly polite sentence.
Which languages are spoken
Every therapist on the roster speaks English. Many speak a second or third language as well: French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Russian, Ukrainian, Dutch and others. The languages are listed on each profile on the therapists page.
If conversation is a large part of what you want, choosing by language is sensible. Put the request in the booking message and it is weighed before the name comes back. If silence is what you want, language matters far less.
What is better left unasked
Questions about her personal life are hers to answer or deflect. Some therapists like to chat about where they are from and what they think of Amsterdam. Some prefer not to. Take the first answer as the answer.
Three requests are simply outside the booking:
- A personal phone number. Bookings, changes and rebookings all go through the thread.
- Where she lives, or where she is going next.
- Meeting outside a booked session.
None of this is about suspicion. The thread keeps both sides' details in one place, and a repeat booking with the same name is a single message away anyway.
Phones, music and the television
A phone face down on silent helps more than people expect. A buzzing screen on the bedside table pulls attention in a way a quiet room does not.
Music is fine at a low level, and in a building with thin walls it does useful work covering small sounds. The television is better switched off than muted, because a flickering screen in the corner of the eye competes with everything else. Your flat, your choice, but those are the settings most clients end up preferring.
Formats that run quieter
Some sessions have a slower, more attentive rhythm where conversation naturally falls away. Tantra is the clearest example, since breathing and pace are part of the format itself. Long bookings tend to go quiet too: the first half hour of a three-hour session is often chatty, and the second hour rarely is.
At home this happens more readily than in a hotel room. There is no corridor noise, no unfamiliar furniture, nothing to comment on. The home massage page describes who books sessions to their own address and why.
Late at night
After midnight the quiet usually settles itself. A client booking at 02:00 rarely wants a conversation, and the building around the flat is silent too. Keep the few words you do need at a low voice, especially near the door, where a stairwell carries sound further than any room does.
One exchange at the start covers the practical side. After that, say as much or as little as you like. If a question comes up about the booking itself rather than the session, the frequently asked questions probably answer it before you need to.